The Middle Matters by Lisa-Jo Baker

Author:Lisa-Jo Baker
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2019-07-22T16:00:00+00:00

Step Away from the Mugs

When I walked into a HomeGoods store last week, I stood there in my schlumpy jeans, my face still droopy after a healthy helping of novocaine and two shiny new fillings (one of the all-time worst things to have to spend money on), and nearly lost my ever-loving mind.

Because there on perfect display were row after row of gorgeous white mugs with an imperfectly organic finish. That is to say they were a little bumpy and not perfectly symmetrical, which added gallons of charm. Each mug had just one tiny word styled in gray slim text. They said “Coffee” and “Hot Cocoa” and “Chai” in a funky sort of typewriter wannabe font, and I wanted all of them. I wanted them forever and ever, and I needed them too.

I was overwhelmed by the compulsion to buy these fabulous fresh white beginnings with words on them that made me feel more stylish and more charming than I could ever be in real life. I mean, who even says cocoa? We always just say hot chocolate, and I don’t like the taste of chai, but I really, really wanted cabinets full of those gorgeous statement mugs. And I swear I could hear Joanna Gaines whispering to me, “Go ahead, just do it.”

Deep down I really want to be one of those people who has matching mugs. Matching mugs that you are proud to display behind glass cupboard doors or, even more daring, on open shelving! I stared at those spectacular-looking mugs, and I admit I held them in my hands and turned them over and fantasized about arranging them in my space and how every morning when I made coffee I’d look at them and they’d look back and tell me, “You’ve got this, you sensational, organized woman, you.”

But the thing is, in order to make room for those mugs that I desperately wanted to adopt, I’d have to trash all my existing mugs. And don’t get me wrong—a very large part of me is tempted to do that daily. You see, there is nothing consistent about our mugs. They are a collection of totally mismatched colors, shapes, and words, acquired thanks to years of Mother’s Days, Father’s Days, Christmases, and birthdays. Because if you present my kids with a mug that says any version of “You are the Best Mom” or “World’s Greatest Dad,” they will 100 percent buy it.

How do I know this? Because I have the eight mugs to prove it. Two of them are exactly the same, I kid you not. The same picture of a sad mermaid that says “World’s Best Mom!” purchased two years in a row by my daughter at the school’s attempt at fund-raising, a “Penguin Patch Christmas market,” stocked with every single gift no parents in their right minds would ever want. The faux-crystal pink flower? No, thank you. The mega-diamond ring that will turn your finger green? Nope. The tiny guitar that you can strum at your desk? Please no.

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